Politics: Of Idiocy
I don’t think I have a beef with Barbie. Many people complain that the plastic princess demeans women or sends young people the message that they should strive to have porn-star measurements and wear heels everywhere. I don’t know if any of this is true. I do know that an American girl between 3 and 11 owns an average of 10 Barbies.
Now we have something utterly bizarre. Mattel has released a pregnant version of Barbie’s friend Midge, who was somehow saddled with that name and has never been updated. Pregnant Midge has an easy-open tummy which delivers a curled-up little baby. Wal-Mart, being the nation’s foremost arbiter of taste, has decided that the pregnant-and-delivering Midge is too gross for the shelves, and the nation’s largest retailer pulled her off the shelves before Christmas.
They do, however, still sell “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” for the Sony Playstation 2, which features authentic whore-procurement technology and the ability to kill nuns and blow up a whole school bus. And they still feature the Hasbro's “GI Joe: Diplomatic Security Service Special Agent,” who comes complete with an urban assault vest, an MP5 rifle and a 9 mm pistol in a thigh-holster. He is intended to execute high-risk search warrants and respond to terrorist attacks overseas.
Needless to say, none of these should be pulled from the shelves. The point is only that in our efforts to protect what we perceive as the delicate sensibilities of our children, we have zero credibility. We bring them here (I'm helping to bring one myself soon) and we immediately assume that it's everyone else's responsibility to raise them well. We accept no responsibility for raising our kids to have the judgement necessary to, for instance, learn lessons from Pregnant Midge (about understanding pregnancy, or biology, or something) and not instead (as hysterical anti-Pregnant Midge forces have stated) learn that they should immediately go out and get prenant. Nearly everything in our society will test this judgement before our kids are adults. You can't take everything off the shelves.
If you don’t want your kid to get their hands on pregnant Midge (though somebody else already did, ha ha), don’t buy it for them. Don’t buy Vice City or GI Joe’s terrible Special Agent. But this whipping Midge and her fetus off the shelf, like efforts to ban music or censor television shows, smacks of making lame excuses for kids turning out badly when they probably needed more attention and maybe fewer toys.
Wal-Mart was responding to moralistic outrage. The nation’s largest retailer (and in many areas, its largest single employer) goes the way the wind blows. But sometimes the wind can steer you wrong.
I don’t think I have a beef with Barbie. Many people complain that the plastic princess demeans women or sends young people the message that they should strive to have porn-star measurements and wear heels everywhere. I don’t know if any of this is true. I do know that an American girl between 3 and 11 owns an average of 10 Barbies.
Now we have something utterly bizarre. Mattel has released a pregnant version of Barbie’s friend Midge, who was somehow saddled with that name and has never been updated. Pregnant Midge has an easy-open tummy which delivers a curled-up little baby. Wal-Mart, being the nation’s foremost arbiter of taste, has decided that the pregnant-and-delivering Midge is too gross for the shelves, and the nation’s largest retailer pulled her off the shelves before Christmas.
They do, however, still sell “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” for the Sony Playstation 2, which features authentic whore-procurement technology and the ability to kill nuns and blow up a whole school bus. And they still feature the Hasbro's “GI Joe: Diplomatic Security Service Special Agent,” who comes complete with an urban assault vest, an MP5 rifle and a 9 mm pistol in a thigh-holster. He is intended to execute high-risk search warrants and respond to terrorist attacks overseas.
Needless to say, none of these should be pulled from the shelves. The point is only that in our efforts to protect what we perceive as the delicate sensibilities of our children, we have zero credibility. We bring them here (I'm helping to bring one myself soon) and we immediately assume that it's everyone else's responsibility to raise them well. We accept no responsibility for raising our kids to have the judgement necessary to, for instance, learn lessons from Pregnant Midge (about understanding pregnancy, or biology, or something) and not instead (as hysterical anti-Pregnant Midge forces have stated) learn that they should immediately go out and get prenant. Nearly everything in our society will test this judgement before our kids are adults. You can't take everything off the shelves.
If you don’t want your kid to get their hands on pregnant Midge (though somebody else already did, ha ha), don’t buy it for them. Don’t buy Vice City or GI Joe’s terrible Special Agent. But this whipping Midge and her fetus off the shelf, like efforts to ban music or censor television shows, smacks of making lame excuses for kids turning out badly when they probably needed more attention and maybe fewer toys.
Wal-Mart was responding to moralistic outrage. The nation’s largest retailer (and in many areas, its largest single employer) goes the way the wind blows. But sometimes the wind can steer you wrong.
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